LISTEN UP !

Many aspects of family life have changed in the past fifty years. Eating together as a family has become almost unheard of, and yet it is at the supper table or the Sunday dinner that many issues of life can be solved. Parents are wise to find time to sit down with their children for one meal a day.  Fast food and hurried schedules can sometimes make for so little time that children and parents have no time for one another.

 Children need to be heard. Listening to the ramblings of a ten-year-old when travelling from McDonald’s to the soccer practice may not be enough time. for the young person to get to the point of the story.  Recently, I picked my great granddaughter up from one practice and took her to another. We stopped at McDonald’s drive-through, and she ate on the run. She is a talker. We were just getting into a real conversation when we arrived at the ballpark. Time was so short and my opportunity to share with her that day was lost.  I plan to go back to that discussion, but time left us much too soon. 

As my children grew and changed, I found that one-on-one conversation as we rode to a nearby town for piano lessons or a ballgame became the confession time for both my children and me.  Sometimes I needed to talk to them privately. It can take a while before the true issue is revealed (particularly with some young boys). Families need to be together for a time each day if possible.  Just touching base with one another gives a security to each member of the family. (Parents as well as children)

As children bring home friends the family may begin to grow.  In our family our children had friends who had no family structure, so we became their family. Sunday dinners and family outings included these young people, and I spoke to them and disciplined them just as I did my own. They were held responsible for their actions as though they were a member of our family. “Take off your shoes when you come in here.”  Turn down that television” Get off that couch with those dirty clothes.” Get me a chair, please.”  Family behavior was expected. Of course, these same young people received “Good Job.”  “I was proud of you.”  “I will pray for you.” Comments of love and acceptance can make children feel they belong to the family group.

Making time to listen for all the people involved  with your family  is perhaps one of the most important factors for keeping each one close and in the circle of family love.

It isn’t a choice to take time-the choice is to MAKE time.

WALKING IN THE WORK WORLD

Another thought on relationships in our world today.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, - since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24

Christian people who work in the public workplace are often much more effective for Jesus than the preacher at the church. Christian behavior is expected of the preaching minister. But the worker in the factory who refuses to slack off the job, who never “steals” time or material from the workplace, who uses language appropriate in any society-these people become a spokesperson for God.   

Sometimes without uttering a word the fellow workers begin to question what is different about this worker. It truly is not necessary to preach. Usually our life preaches for us, and the sermon people hear and see from us is one that reflects God’s teaching.

Our manner towards our fellow worker is the best message we can bring to a non-Christian world. Do we have an attitude of superiority or one of fellowship and caring? Those who work around us should never feel we think we are better in any way. Showing joy seems to be an answer the world does not often see. Our only hope for helping them is to be able to relate that we too have problems. We need to reflect a joy that indicates we have a security in our world that overcomes our problems. Complaining and negativity are so much a part of our society that someone who is joyful in the workplace certainly is noticed. It is not necessary to air our “dirty linen” to the world; however, sometimes a bit of personal sharing can indicate to our workplace friends that our day-to-day living is not perfect.

When we leave the lunchroom, the teachers’ lounge or the coffee shop, the response from those around should be “Whatever that person has in their life, I want it.” And then, whether it be the workplace or the social gathering, we can begin to tell them about Jesus and what He has done for us and for them.

"TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE "

  "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falls; for he has not another to help him up." Ecclesiastes 4:10          

     The relationship between friends is often difficult to describe. Friendship has so many  different levels. And the love displayed in those friendships also has different levels.  An acquaintance is a friend that I know, find pleasant, and visit with them when I meet them in the Walmart.  Do I love them, of course, but not as I love my friend that I play golf with or meet for lunch. These golf and lunch friends are ones I share cute stories about my grandchildren, funny things that have happened recently and all the latest news of town. I love these friends, but not as I love my close friends.

               Close friends are people I share my heart with. I can tell them my sin of the past and feel certain that no one else will ever hear it from them. No criticism, no judgment, no reproach-only a listening ear. History remains history in the eyes of a friend. My “real” friends  laugh at my old jokes and know I cry when I am happy, when I am sad and when I am angry, In fact, the comment of “what are her tears for now?” can sometimes be heard in my crowd of friends.

 Friends hear what you say and know it is not what you mean. Here is where my friends are tested. I often find that what comes out of my mouth does not always indicate what I am thinking. I want to say let me help, but it comes out as critical and fault-finding. My close friends know when I suggest they might have made a different choice that I am speaking in love.

Friends show up three weeks after the funeral with plans for something to do together. Friends are there after the problem is over. Your favorite recipe shows up at your door, not because you need food, but just because you need uplifting. When most people around have forgotten your situation (funeral, divorce, family issue, children in trouble) a good friend asked you to lunch, calls you just to talk, sends a real card (not an e-mail) for no reason. 

Friends tell me they like my new hairstyle even when it is much too short and choppy. My close friends indicate in many ways that they miss me when I am gone. I know they pray with me and for me. My friends know I am afraid of cats and hate needles. Friends do not intimidate you and don’t even try to. Friends of mine show up at the strangest times. If a person is blessed with friends, then one is truly blessed. Friends are God’s answer to loneliness.

 And when we reach old age and these “close” friends are the ones who remain, we realize what true friendship really means.  And I love these friends, but not as I love my best friend, Jesus.  Here is a friend who surpasses all my other friends.  Yet, because of Jesus I know how to love my earthly friends. His is the love that binds us together.

This is an excerpt from the manuscript I am working on now. Sub-title at this point is “THINGS YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU” Hope to finish this year

FAMILY

One of the areas of spiritual growth that has been on my mind recently is the area of relationships with other people-our spouse, our family, our church family, and our extended family.  Several years ago, I wrote a series of lessons to use as a study guide with my book JUST WALKING.  The workbook was never published and had almost forgotten about it. I have been looking at this again and many of the points that I covered in that study have been on my heart again. Guess I will share them for a new audience.

WALKING WITH YOUR CHURCH FAMILY

"Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." I Thessalonians 5:11

If we are to grow spiritually, we must love one another. We need to remember that we are a family. My own family is filled with adopted children. I have a niece, a nephew and two grandchildren and one foster child who are a part of our immediate family. They are our children and are treated no differently than birth children. We love each child in our family differently, but we love them all the same. To God, we are just like that. We are his adopted children, and we belong to the same family. Think about your church family. I encourage you to list at least five people who you feel truly are your brothers and sisters. Thank God for them and pray for them as you do your physical family.

So often in our church family as in our physical family people are hurt by careless or thoughtless actions and words. If we are to grow spiritually, we need to be careful with our words and actions toward our church family. This week I encourage you to list three things you can do personally to keep members of your church family from being hurt either physically or spiritually.

Have you hurt someone in your church family unintentionally? Today is the day for forgiveness. Ask for forgiveness from the person and from God. Pray for the person. And then leave it there at the foot of the cross. Burdens are not meant to be carried forever. Grudges, hurt feelings and unforgiving attitudes are not meant to be a part of the family of God. When our relationship with God's children increases and becomes more loving so then does our love for God.

Pray that God will present you with the opportunity to encourage someone this week. Pray for your church family that you might walk with them on the road to spiritual growth that the world may see Christ and you may walk in the abundant life Christ wants you to have.

Praying and making my lists too.

WALKING WITH HIM Clella