SPARE THE ROD

I find that I do not remember the minor happenings of my children’s early years as some mothers do.  I am not sure why.  My children probably had the chickenpox, but I don’t remember. And I didn’t save the first tooth they lost, and neither do I have a lock of hair from their sweet little heads. I remember being very frightened about taking care of my first born. I write of this only to assure young mothers that most babies who are loved by their mothers and  have no physical problems will grow to adulthood despite us.

When my son was a few days old he slept in a “basket” in front of the shelf where I placed the baby products…Vaseline, powder, swabs etc.  As I reached to get a diaper, I accidentally knocked the Vaseline bottle off onto his crib. He awoke startled and screaming, and I also began sobbing convinced that I had injured him for life.  Of course, my husband chose this moment to come home and found a sobbing young mother rocking his screaming, red faced infant son.

This was not the last time I accidentally hurt my son, but I remember it as the first time. I know I have hurt both my children physically and emotionally. Hurting our children always brings us pain. Emotional hurts bring even more pain than physical hurts. Spare the rod and spoil the child seems so outdated and yet God offered this wisdom in the book of Proverbs. (Proverbs 13:24)

Society has come away from this admonition because many people have abused this idea as the world does many of God’s instructions.  A child can be raised without any physical punishment and become a fine, upstanding young adult; however, the generations before us who used the Lord’s method of punishment are not to be scoffed at.  Loving physical reproofs, loving smacks in the proper places are not to be taken lightly as an excellent form of punishment.  My husband says that sometimes it is the best method for getting the child’s attention to help the child realize a problem exists.

Countless people are against physical discipline and that opinion deserves respect. Because each child has a God-given distinct personality, it is necessary to choose the discipline to fit the child. For some children, a gentle reproof is enough, for others getting their attention with a gentle hand in the right area is needed.

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Proverbs 13:24

NOTE TO READER: This blog post is an excerpt from the book I am writing now. At this point,it is entitled THREAD OF LOVE, but that may change. I hope to finish this winter and will try to post a few more examples. Let me know in comments below how you responded to this.

SIT DOWN AND EAT

Many aspects of family life have changed in the past fifty years. Eating together as a family has become almost unheard of, and yet it is at the supper table or the Sunday dinner that many issues of life can be solved. Parents are wise to find time to sit down with their children for one meal a day.  Fast food and hurried schedules can sometimes make for so little time that children and parents have no time for one another.

Children need to be heard. Listening to the ramblings of a ten-year-old when travelling from McDonald’s to the soccer practice may not be enough time for the young person to get to the point of the story.  Recently, I picked my great granddaughter up from one practice and took her to another. We stopped at McDonald’s drive-through and she ate on the run. She is a talker. We were just getting into a real conversation when we arrived at the ballpark. Time was so short and my opportunity to share with her that day was lost.  I plan to go back to that discussion, but time left us much too soon.

  As my children grew and changed, I found that one-on-one conversation as we rode to a nearby town for piano lessons or a ballgame became the confession time for both my children and me.  Sometimes I needed to talk to them privately. It can take a while before the true issue is revealed (particularly with some young boys). Families need to be together for a time each day if possible.  Just touching base with one another gives a security to each member of the family. (Parents as well as children)

NOTE TO READER: This blog post is an excerpt from the book I am writing now. At this point,it is entitled THREAD OF LOVE, but that may change. I hope to finish this winter and will try to post a few more examples. Let me know in comments below how you responded to this. Thanks.

Clella

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE

     “Remember who you are” It woke me! Not that I was asleep, but I do gather my own thoughts at times when my minister is talking.  He does preach a meaningful sermon, but I have heard many of these admonishments for countless years. Not that I don’t need to hear them repeated, but sometimes I go off in my own thoughts.  However, his rather quiet and yet strong voice echoed in my mind. REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!

I reached for my phone. I had used my Bible app to read the Scripture for the day, so it was close by. I quickly typed the words into my memory list. Now it is Monday, and I am still hearing those words.  I begin to question myself.  Who am I really?I know who I want to be and who I think I am, but what does that really mean?         “Remember”…have I forgotten who I am. I begin to think through this admonishment.

  I want to be known as a Christian woman, but have I modeled that in this past week. I examine my recent actions, my speech and my thoughts. I realize I sometimes forget who I am.

   I want to be the wife I promised to be sixty-five years ago. My sharp answers yesterday and the impatient way I answered a request did not reflect the speech of a “loving” wife. Sometimes I forget who I am.

  I want to be a mother and grandmother and mother-in-law my family can depend on. I want each of them to know I pray for them. I want them to always know I am available for them. I wonder if I was too busy this week for that to happen. Sometimes I forget who I am

    I want to be known as a Friend who cares, but I forgot to call my friend who missed Bible study.  I disregarded my friend who had some trouble with her children. She tried to talk with me, but I hurried on. And then the young mother who was struggling with life in general, and I knew it, but didn’t really want to get involved right now.  I forgot to pray for her, and I said I would. Sometimes I forget who I am.

As I think about this today, I realize that it’s okay if I forget who I am. Jesus knows, and His Holy Sprit reminds me who my Father is and how He loves me. As my earthly father forgave me, my Heavenly Father is even more forgiving and loving.  I remember whose child I am and that is enough.

PRAYER FOR TODAY:  Father, I am so glad you are my Father, and that I can know you love me and forgive me through each day. I sometimes forget who I am, but I know you will give me strength and courage to go on and be the woman you want me to be.  Thank you for that. Thank you for loving me enough to send Jesus to die for me even though I am not worthy. I pray in His holy name. Amen

SHE SAID WHAT?

SHE SAID WHAT???

As I walked this morning, my mind is filled with so many different thoughts. I have been going back over a conversation I was a part of recently.  And yes, I was a part of it, not an innocent by stander, but a part of the group. And in retrospect, I have decided to be more careful about my participation in such conversations.  

Was it harmful?  I don't think so, but was it necessary?  Probably not. How do you feel about gossip?  Harmless?  Destructive? Not a problem? The subject is on my heart this morning. Society gives it many labels-chit-chat, rumor, conversation, prayer-wait Prayer?  Really? How could prayer be destructive?

As His people, we need to examine our hearts as we make prayer requests. God knows the details of the situation. Vivid description of the problem as the request is made is not usually necessary. An explicit detail made public does little for a marital or family situation. Just like the game we played as children; the words change as they are passed from one person to the next. A simple request for prayer is sufficient.  The key here being the word “simple.”  

Elaborate prayer requests can be gossip in disguise… can you be trusted? The author of Proverbs tells his reader that a gossip betrays a confidence. (Proverbs 11:13, 20:19,) Betraying a friend’s confidence by labeling it a prayer request becomes gossip. Our public prayer requests need to be clear and simple. God will understand.
My prayer today is that I might not betray my friends or my God. Won't you join me?
Clella